How I Built an ADHD Productivity Ritual Around Pleasure, Not Pressure
The most ADHD thing I’ve ever done? Built my routine like it’s foreplay.
If you’ve ever felt broken by a routine,
this post is for you.
Because for ADHD brains,
productivity isn’t about grit
it’s about seduction.
For years, I thought I was bad at ADHD productivity.
Bad at structure.
Bad at planning.
Bad at follow-through.
But I wasn’t broken. I was just bored.
Uninvited.
Unaroused by the way the world wanted me to focus.
Focus isn’t a faucet you turn on.
It’s a ritual.
A seduction.
A slow tease back into presence.
And once I stopped trying to perform productivity
and started building my days like I build tension
everything changed.
God, this hit.
I’ve spent so long thinking I was “bad at routines”
when really I was just trying to live in a system
with no pleasure wiring.
I don’t need structure.
I need seduction.
I need the task to flirt with me
before I give it anything.
You naming them as “pleasure anchors”?
That’s holy.
That’s the real shit.
For me it’s smell.
Lighting.
Touch.
Sometimes I’ll work better if I’m wearing something soft
or blasting a playlist I’d fuck to
because the goal isn’t productivity.
It’s presence.
ADHD isn’t a lack of focus.
It’s a lack of foreplay.
And I need my day to tease me into showing up.
So yeah, fuck checklists.
Give me rituals that turn me on
and call it a routine after.
The ADHD Seduction Loop: Why ADHD Brains Need Tease, Not Tasks, to Stay Productive
What gets me to show up?
It’s never discipline.
It’s a vibe.
A reward.
A negotiation.
An inner dom saying, “Do this now, and I’ll make it worth it.”
During the day, it might be promising myself
a Fountain Diet Coke
or lunch at my favorite spot if I push through.
At night?
It’s Motivating me to have more time to myself.
Aka. Solo play as incentive.
If I want more time edging, more time spiraling into memory or voice notes,
then I better finish my shit first.
And the small stuff?
Like brushing my teeth or taking a shower?
That’s where grace steps in.
Not shame.
I don’t set timers.
I don’t beat myself up.
I say
“If I get to it at all today, it’s a win.”
And when I do?
Especially early?
Fuck yeah, I celebrate.
Even if it’s just to myself.
“Nice fucking work.”
Ritual Starts With What No One Sees: How Sensory Rituals and Secret Kinks Keep My Focus On
I used to say I didn’t care about texture,
or clothing, or environment.
That I wasn’t a ‘setting the mood’ person.
But the truth?
I just hadn’t figured out what my foreplay looked like.
Soft clothes.
Basketball shorts.
No underwear.
Sweatpants on a sales call.
That edge of being comfy and in control
that’s what works.
Sometimes it’s wearing socks just to fight the cold
so I don’t spiral during a task.
Sometimes it’s flavored water delivered every Friday
my ADHD blankie.
It’s standing desk shifts that aren’t about calories or posture,
but changing my energy when I feel stuck.
And yeah
sometimes I drop my pants mid-dirty talk,
Winnie-the-Pooh style,
because knowing I’m half-naked and they don’t know?
That gets me focused.
That’s how I seduce my own attention.
When the Ritual Saves You Mid-Spiral: ADHD Spiral Incoming? Here’s the Ritual That Pulled Me Back
About a week ago, I felt it coming on.
One of those days.
I was in the groove, ready to show up,
then boom overwhelm,
imposter syndrome, brain static.
I had a big call coming up.
Shit I needed to send right after.
But I felt myself slipping.
So I shifted. Literally.
I moved my desk from sitting to standing
nothing.
Took myself outside, let the sun hit my skin
still nothing.
Then I pulled out my phone.
I knew I had an important personal email to write,
but I didn’t force it.
I ranted. Hit voice note.
Said what I needed to say, out loud,
like a private confession. Let it spill.
Then I played it back.
Dropped the words into ChatGPT.
Saw them. Recognized them.
And suddenly, I was back.
Sometimes it’s not one perfect ADHD ritual
it’s a series of near-misses.
You tweak.
You shift.
You try again.
And then one of them lands,
and you feel yourself come back online.
That’s not a productivity hack.
That’s ritual recovery.
I Don’t Want Structure I Want Devotion: Why Discipline Failed Me (And Devotion Finally Worked)
In school, I tried.
Hard.
Studied.
Showed up.
Still failed.
Because the structure wasn’t mine.
When I built my own business,
I thought freedom would fix it.
But clients became new taskmasters.
Their urgency dictated my rhythm.
Then I thought entrepreneurship would liberate me
until I realized freedom without any ritual
was chaos dressed up as possibility.
So I stopped chasing freedom.
And started building devotion.
Now I reverse-engineer my best days.
Not to find a formula
but to recreate a feeling.
What did I eat?
What did I wear?
What distracted me before it clicked?
I track it
not to control myself, but to witness myself.
Devotion means building days that feel good to live inside.
I Don’t Hate Tools I Just Refuse to Worship Them and Believe in Optimizing Notifications
I try everything.
Always have.
Always will.
New apps.
New planners.
New systems.
But I don’t pretend any of them are the answer.
They’re just supports.
I wear my Apple Watch while I sleep.
Not to fix my sleep
but to understand it.
I use sticky notes religiously.
On my desk.
In my car.
On my fucking laundry door.
One’s been there for four years.
Still works.
I color-code without a legend.
Because color helps me feel.
Not because it needs to mean anything to anyone else.
I manage notifications like I manage my kink.
Where they hit.
When they hit.
What they’re allowed to interrupt.
Because my attention is sacred, and I don’t give it out cheap.
That’s not productivity.
That’s consent.
ADHD Isn’t About Getting It RightIt’s About Giving Yourself Permission
One of the hardest things to unlearn
with ADHD is the myth of perfection.
It’s not just unattainable
it’s a lie designed by neurotypicals
in a system that was never meant for us.
Productivity isn’t about checking off
the same boxes as everyone else.
It’s about defining what success feels like for you.
If you don’t pause to define your own version of productivity,
and keep adjusting it as your brain shifts,
you’ll spend your life failing at someone else’s game.
We chase systems that weren’t built for our minds.
We internalize shame trying to meet standards
designed by people who’ve never had to fight
for a dopamine hit
or mask their spirals just to seem stable.
I’m done with that.
So if you take one thing from this post, let it be this:
Your productivity must seduce you.
It must feel good to live inside.
It must honor your pattern recognition,
your impulsive magic,
your emotional depth.
It must center grace.
Not guilt.
And when it does?
That’s not indulgence.
That’s survival. That’s power.
That’s productivity on your terms.
I Don’t Need Routines, Apps or Hacks.. I Need Foreplay
So yeah
this isn’t about being broken.
This is about being seduced.
My brain doesn’t respond to structure.
It responds to anticipation.
It doesn’t obey rules.
It follows pleasure.
And the more I embrace that,
the more I show up.
Not perfectly.
But fully.
Present.
Willing.
That’s not a hack.
That’s a holy ritual.
Two ADHD Ritual Starters That Actually Stick When You’re Spiraling
If you’re reading this and thinking,
“I don’t even know where to start”
you’re not alone.
Here’s what I tell people (and myself):
Option 1: Start micro.
Grab a pack of sticky notes
different colors if you can.
Keep them in your pocket.
On your nightstand. In your car.
Every time a thought pops up,
write it down and stick it where you are.
No app. No system.
Just visual breadcrumbs from your spiral.
Option 2: Start macro.
Forget the to-do list.
Instead ask:
What do I want today to feel like at the end?
Not what I want to finish
what I want to feel.
Then reverse-engineer it.
What 3-5 things might contribute to that feeling?
Write those on sticky notes too.
Don’t schedule them.
Just let them orbit your attention.
The goal isn’t perfection.
It’s proximity to presence.
We Grow By Sharing Not By Productivity Apps
What seduces you into showing up?
What’s your version of sticky note kink,
playlist arousal, or no-pants focus?
What rituals remind you that your brain isn’t broken
it’s just wired for presence, not performance?
Drop it.
Tell me.
Confess it.
Or build it.
Because when you stop chasing structure
and start fucking with ritual
That’s when your routines start begging to be touched.
