This isn’t just about getting off.
It’s about how porn helps me regulate,
explore, and stay connected to my erotic identity.
And yeah this isn’t just for ADHD men
women crave it too.
It’s time we remove the ADHD porn shame once and for all.
Porn Isn’t the Problem. Shame Is.
If you’ve ever deleted your browser history with shaking hands,
or cried after coming, this post is for you.
If you think watching porn daily means something’s wrong with you…
If you’ve been told your desire should be quieter, more relational, less messy…
If you were never given a safe place to explore fantasy,
pleasure, and your own erotic self-study
especially with an ADHD brain that loops, spirals, and craves clarity
This post is for you.
Porn hasn’t fucked me up. It’s helped me survive.
What Porn Actually Does for My ADHD Brain
It gives me dopamine when my day is overstimulating,
underwhelming, or emotionally flooded.
It helps me access desire especially when I’m touch-deprived,
overstimulated, or emotionally shut down.
It’s a way to explore kinks before I try them IRL.
It calms my spiral. Refocuses me. Sometimes, even makes me feel safe.
And that doesn’t sound like addiction.
That sounds like intimacy regulation.
Sometimes I don’t come.
Sometimes I don’t even try.
I just need the loop. The pulse. The presence.
Even in relationships, I still feel that flicker
“is this too much?”
when I need porn to feel wanted again.
That’s not betrayal. That’s blueprint.
Porn Is Where I Learned
That I love watching. That I crave being watched.
That dirty talk is a kink superpower, not cringe.
That cum play turns me on because it makes the pleasure tangible.
That praise gets me off more than visuals ever could.
I discovered kinks through porn that no one in real life ever gave me permission to name.
I didn’t grow up with open sex ed.
I grew up with porn tabs and AIM chats and search bars that felt like confessionals.
And even now?
I still edge to amateur videos. Because real pleasure isn’t polished.
It’s relatable.
I memorize pacing.
Watch for feedback.
Notice body language.
It’s not just about coming.
It’s about learning how to make someone else come better.
Porn didn’t damage me.
It educated me.
This Isn’t Just About Guys Jerking Off
Every woman
and femme-presenting partner
I’ve loved has watched porn.
Some sent me links.
Some filmed themselves.
Some said, “Can you send me what you came to today?”
And the ones who didn’t?
Were the ones who were told their desire wasn’t real.
Women don’t just like porn.
They need it.
To feel normal. Curious. Wild.
To try things on.
To feel not alone.
Sex workers? Creators?
They’re doing sacred work.
Turning kink shame into entertainment.
Giving lonely, overstimulated, kink-curious people a lifeline.
Porn Isn’t Just Fantasy. It’s Rehearsal. It’s Relief. It’s Identity.
I kind of wish I’d had an OnlyFans era.
Not because I want to get famous.
Because I know how good it feels to be witnessed in your pleasure.
To say: this part of me isn’t dirty. It’s holy.
And never say never on an OnlyFans future.
I study porn like people study music.
I don’t just scroll.
I observe.
I listen.
I pay attention to how pleasure moves.
Because my arousal needs emotional cues
not just friction.
Stigma I’m Done Believing
That watching porn means
I don’t love my partner.
That jerking off is lonely.
The difference between wanting something different in your head and in your bed is cheating.
That sex workers are dirty.
That pleasure needs to be earned.
For My Neurodivergent, Arousal-Spiraling, Shame-Soaked Kin
You’re not watching too much porn.
You’re horny.
You’re emotionally sensitive.
You’re seeking clarity in a world that never explained sex in your language.
You’re not broken.
You’re curious.
And your curiosity deserves better than judgment.
Porn isn’t the problem.
It’s your permission.