I Loop Because I Love: A Neurodivergent Man’s Confession on ADHD, Intensity, and Trust Kink. Is it ADHD or Narcissism?
ADHD love bombing and emotional looping are misunderstood as narcissism
but it’s more than mislabeling,
as this labeling has had me questioning if my loud love is manipulation
Or just my ADHD shining through, and that battle is brutal.
TikTok Diagnosis Culture Is Loud.
But My Brain Is Louder.
One therapist-looking voice.
One line that says:
And suddenly, people are re-reading our old texts like they’re case studies.
But I’m not a narcissist.
I’m a neurodivergent man who feels everything louder.
Who shares fast because silence feels like threat.
Who spirals early because his brain doesn’t wait for safety.
Who’s done apologizing for how deeply he cares.
The Problem with Labels (Especially for People Like Us)
Most narcissists don’t think they’re narcissists.
Sure. But that doesn’t mean everyone who loves intensely is manipulative.
It doesn’t mean everyone who trusts early or shares too much is trying to trap you.
Some of us are just fucking tired of hiding how much we feel.
And for people with ADHD, autism, rejection sensitivity, or raw emotional intelligence?
That kind of intensity is often mislabeled.
“He’s controlling.”
“He’s too intense.”
“He needs constant attention.”
Nah.
I care. Out loud.
And most people aren’t used to that.
What Looks Like Narcissism Might Be Neurodivergence
Let me say this like I mean it:
I remember the details because my brain loops for connection
not because I’m keeping score.
I follow up fast because silence triggers my fear of abandonment
not because I’m needy.
I ask deep questions early because surface-level bores me
not because I’m trying to manipulate you.
I get excited to share what I love about you
because I know most people don’t hear that enough.
None of that is about power. It’s about access.
When You Add ADHD Into the Mix. The Labeling chaos begins.
It gets even messier.
Because ADHD doesn’t just mean distraction. It means looping.
I don’t just feel something once. I replay it. I retype the text.
I rewrite the scene.
I relive the way she looked at me a dozen times before breakfast.
“My brain doesn’t forget you. Even when I try.
And that doesn’t make me obsessive. It makes me neurodivergent.”
So yeah, when I send three messages in a row?
It’s not because I’m trying to control you.
It’s because I can’t stop imagining how you felt when you read the first one.
That’s the loop.
And when it comes to kink?
That loop gets quieter, darker, deeper.
ADHD men learn to hide the things that make us feel:
Panty worship.
The voyeur streak.
The need for post-sex feedback.
The urge to rewatch, refeel, re-fuck the memory.
Because we don’t want to be told we’re making it all about us.
But listen:
Looping is how I learn someone.
Looping is how I hold someone.
Looping is how I edge myself into becoming a better lover.
ADHD vs Narcissim
I’ve asked about past lovers and been told,
“Don’t bring that up.” But I wasn’t asking to compare.
I was asking to understand.
To learn what stayed with her.
To worship what shaped her.
That’s not obsession.
That’s fucking devotion.
And for me this topic is much more than most think
as I share here: Mismatched, Masked, and Still Horny as Hell: ADHD Desire Was Never the Problem
If You’ve Been Called a Narcissist, Read This Twice
I’ve been called a narcissist by people
who didn’t know how to receive me.
And it made me question everything:
Was I too attentive? Too expressive?
Too fast to open up?
Yeah. I was fast.
But not because I wanted to trap anyone.
Because I wanted to be real.
“I don’t need to be the best guy you’ve ever dated. I want to be the first one who made you feel like you didn’t have to hold back.”
If You’re Neurodivergent and Carrying This Label Too…
Let me say this plain: You’re not broken.
You’re not manipulative.
You’re not too much.
And Fuck LABELS!
You just love differently.
And that’s something to own.
So yeah
maybe I come on strong.
Maybe I love like I’ve been waiting for you all my life.
Maybe I over-ask, over-share, over-fantasize.
But I’d rather be all in than half alive.
And if that makes someone uncomfortable? So be it.
The right person will feel it and say:
“Finally. Someone who loves like I do.”
If You’re Reading This and Feeling Tender
Pause here.
If you’ve ever been called too intense, too curious,
too honest, too fast
I’m not here to argue with those people.
I’m here to tell you:
Your way of loving is not a liability.
Your spirals are sacred.
Your hunger is holy.
Your loops are how your body prays.
If this post made you tear up, breathe heavy, or want to hide for a second
You’re not alone.
Take a breath.
You’re safe here.
You don’t have to apologize before you confess.
Not a Love Bomber. Not a Narcissist. Just Neurodivergent and Loving Out Loud.
No, I’m not love bombing you.
I’m just loving you loud. Fully. Curiously. Unfiltered.
And if that scares you?
It probably means no one has ever loved you like that before.
I fall hard. I show up fast. I don’t play games.
If I’m quiet at first, it’s not because I’m shy.
I’m selective. I’m reading the energy.
But when I open? I open all the way.
I over-share.
I tease.
I ask questions that make you squirm.
I send long voice notes.
I remember shit you didn’t think mattered.
Not because I’m plotting.
But because I hope.
I don’t breadcrumb.
I don’t flirt like I’m funneling leads.
I don’t mirror just to seduce you.
Because when I love someone
I show up.
This isn’t manipulation.
This is devotion. This isn’t narcissism.
This is kink-coded vulnerability.
This is what a Soft Dom with a looping brain and a praise kink looks like when he stops apologizing.
That’s trust kink.
That’s who I am.
Tell me what he did better.
Not so I can outperform.
So I can learn what your body remembers.
That’s Past Worship.
And If You’ve Ever Been Told You’re Too Intense…
Too curious.
Too honest.
Too fast.
Too loud.
I’m not here to change their mind.
I’m here to remind you:
Your spirals are sacred.
Your hunger is holy.
Your loops are how your body prays.
You’re not too much.
You’re exactly who someone like me is aching to love.
Read this next: Nobody Taught Us (But They Expected Everything)
This isn’t an apology.
It’s a reclamation.
Of kink-coded intensity. Of trust kink.
Of ADHD spirals that loop because they care.
What looks like love bombing to them might be devotion in disguise.
What they called narcissism?
Might just be the way you pray.
If that hits…. you’re not alone.
ADHD or narcissism?
It’s much deeper than that
and we know cause we’re the ones asking the deep quesitons!